Tormented Kid
by JJxWillxProtectxYou
Summary: Tony uncovers a video of our favourite McGeek on YouTube, and with it uncovers secrets from Tim's past that no one thought possible. How will the team heal after this, and what other pain has Tim been hiding? #1 of my "YouTube Revelations" series. AU, warning for Dark Themes
1. Chapter 1

Hey guys, JJ here! (obviously) If you're reading this, thank you, and don't forget to review, especially if you want another chapter, because this was originally a one-shot. Secondly, if you are someone who's reading my "Casey Ann Atwood" story, I'm soo sorry I haven't updated! Life's been crazy, but I'm halfway through the next chapter, and I'm on holidays now, so I should be able to update soon!

Also, I'm thinking of making this a series called "YouTube Revelations", so if you have a show or book or movie character you want to be discovered on YouTube for singing or dancing etc. by their friends/family/team or whatever, PM and if I've seen/read it and I like the character, I'll write one for you!

Disclaimer (sigh): I don't own NCIS or the song "Tormented Kid"- that belongs to 360. I don't own 360 either.

* * *

"Tony, what are you doing in McGee's desk?"

Tony looked up at Ziva. She'd been trying to ignore him for about an hour, but when he'd gotten up and started going through McGee's desk drawers, she'd finally snapped.

"Well, Ziva, I'm looking for-Aha!" He held up his hand triumphantly...

Ziva shook her head, baffled. "And why do you want McGee's IPod?"

"To see what kind of miserable musical taste we're dealing with regarding our young Probie." Tony grinned.

"How do you know McGee has bad taste in music?" Questioned Ziva.

Tony just looked at her and shook his head pityingly. "Prepare for the complete tracks of Star Wars and Harry Potter."

The Israeli frowned as she looked back down at her work. Harry _who_?

"Hmmm..." She heard Tony murmur. She turned her head towards him to see his head jutted back a bit and his eyes narrowed, looking at the device in suspicion.

Ziva threw her hands in frustration. "_What?_"

"I've never heard of this person before, this- 360."

Ziva rolled her eyes. "_And?_ You do not know have to know_ every _famous person, Tony."

Tony laughed and shook his head as if it were the most ridiculous thing he'd ever heard, "Oh but, yes, I do."

"Why?" She asked in exasperation.

"Because it's my _thing, _Ziva. It's what I _do._" He 'explained' while sitting down at his desk and tapping on his keyboard. "See, Gibbs is the Leader, You're the Assassin, McGoo is the Computer Geek, and I provide comedic relief in tense situations. We all have our part Ziva." He looked at her condescendingly and Ziva resisted the urge to poke her tongue out at him.

"Aha!" He yelled.

She got out of her seat. "I assume you found him then?"

"Yep, there's a fair few videos of him on YouTube. This was taken at a live concert apparently."

"Well bring it up on the Big Screen so I can see it too." Ziva requested.

"Alrighty." Tony grinned, and then got up and sat on the edge of Tim's desk so as better to see the screen. Ziva simply stood in front of it, folding her arms.

A picture of some kind of club, focussed on the stage, appeared on the screen. It was obviously recorded on some ones phone and then put on YouTube. Screams of people dominated the speakers, and then the lights flashed. Sounds like rain started, and a pre-recorded argument. There was a figure on the stage, but the lights were still flickering, like lightning, so you couldn't see who it was.

They listened as the song started.

And didn't even see Gibbs join them.

"_I really- I really do love ya' mate, I really love ya'. I'm really sorry I hit you all the time. I promise it won't happen anymore, I promise you, tha-this is the last time. I'm so sorry-"_

"_-I don't fucking need you! I hate you! You mean nothing to me! Get out of my fucking face!"_

"_This is MY house, I will do whatever I want-"_

"_Get the fuck out of my way!_

"_Don't tell me what to do! Where do you think you're going, get back here! Don't walk away from your Sister!"_

"_-You're nothing to me!"_

"_Don't walk away from your mum!_

"_I hate you!"_

"_I really do love ya' mate, I do!"_

"_Don't tell me what to do!"_

"_You know what, I own this place, YOU get out!"_

"_I hate you, I HATE YOU!"_

By the end of the argument the voices had started to meld together. Suddenly the lights came on fully, revealing a young boy, a teenager of maybe 16, on the stage. The camera was not close enough to see his face, but Ziva could see him wearing skinny jeans and a black hooded jumper, with some sort of purple and yellow baseball hat on. He opened his mouth and started to sing.

_He was a young kid tormented and hurt  
His father nearly pushed him to the end of the earth  
On his birthday December the 3rd, that day his dad was drunk, couldn't even remember the birth, _

The boy moved around on stage, and in doing so came closer to the girl holding the camera (they could tell it was a she because of the screams) and when he got to the girl he leaned down and sung right into her camera for just a few seconds, but it was enough. Abby gasped, and the others dimly registered her new presence while they froze, not sure what to make of this.

The singer was McGee.

_And he wished he'd go on holidays and never return  
His whole body was cut up and served and burnt,  
Use to wake up shaking with an image of dads face, and how he use to use his body as an ash tray_

Most of the team were still frozen, and Abby had her hands to her mouth and tears were streaming down her face. Ziva's own eyes were tingling, and Tony's looked suspiciously bright. Gibbs's face was stone cold rock, but Ziva could see the underlining fury, mixed with the shock and confusion that they were _all _feeling.

_No one suspected shit, always acting fake  
The kid was forced to smile put on a happy face,_

The hatred in Tim's eyes as he yelled this was something Ziva was not used to, something no one on the team had seen from him before. Most of it seemed directed at his father, but you could see there was some for the rest of the world too.

_He use to try and keep his chin high, if he let an ounce of sadness out he'd see a fist fly  
Teachers asked about the bruising and he'd give lies,  
A kids mind with no reasoning to live life,  
A thin line between hate and depression if it wasn't with his fist he'd hit his face with a weapon_

The elevator dinged, but not one member of the team heard it. They didn't look at the doors when they opened, and didn't see Timothy McGee himself stepping out.  
_  
The thought of suicide he'd jump a lake in a second,  
Without him his mum wouldn't be safe and protected, _

Tim was at Ziva's desk when he froze. He knew those words, hell he'd _made_ those words, and that was definitely him singing.

_He often thought of standing up and fighting back, was too scared, he knew he'd cop another strike and bash, _

Tim finally looked up to see his own tormented 16 year old self on the big screen, his team-mates and Abby facing it, watching, not even noticing he was right behind them.

_Except for one day he came home from school,  
He was about to leave for a mates home for pool,  
He heard screams from upstairs in the bed rooms, mum was yelling but it sounded like sex too_

Gibbs closed his eyes and cringed at the next words,

_He was raping her, cold blooded and fearless nobody was near it and nobody could hear it!  
And why did they deserve this punishment for, then he snapped he couldn't give a fuck anymore,  
Then he ran to the room possessed by a demon, saw her throat seething and her nose bleeding for no reason_

_She hobbled down stairs broken her leg, poured his sin all over his wife an emotional wreck,_  
_And the kid stood in the doorway eyes sagging' __and black, the father was smashed, laughing as he starts to attack,_

By now, no one knew how to react, so they just listened, as 16-year-old-Tim spilled out pain that they didn't even know he had.

_He ducked the first swing, it didn't connect, out of nowhere the dad grabbed the kid at the neck,  
Squeezing his life away stared in to his eyes it rained, he didn't show it hurt he managed to hide the pain, _

"No," Abby whimpered

_He sat squeezing and screaming and crying but the kid let him do it and squeeze it in silence,  
If he kept going it he would dead him for sure, then his grip let loose he flop next to the floor,  
And the mum stabbed him in the back with a kitchen knife ripped inside screaming in pain ready to give her life,  
He saw his mother on the tiles of tears, it was the first time he saw his mother smile in years_

The music eventually trailed off, leaving the bull pen completely silent

"What the _fuck!" _Tim burst out.

**A/N: I don't normally like swearing, but I felt the situation needed it :P hope you liked! Don't forget to review, and PM me a request!**

**Also, I know I changed 'brother' to 'sister' in the argument part at the top, but Tim doesn't have a brother, and he does have Sarah, sooo...**


	2. Chapter 2

**Hey guys! Thank you so much for my reviews!**

**Now, regarding some of the reviews:**

**Alix33: I (unfortunately) haven't seen _all _the NCIS episodes, so I didn't know that Ziva knows who Harry Potter is, but it's really a minor detail anyway :P**

**Camry 72: All will be explained in this following chapter about Tim's reason for being in Australia, but I think I will make his mother Australian in the show the rest of your question will be answered bellow :P**

**Guest: Yeah I get in the show he was never bullied, but this story just popped into my head and I liked it, but you're right I should put in the AU warning, because this whole thing is VERY AU…**

**Guest: "This is sickening"… Yes I'm aware of the very dark themes to this fic (it _is_ called TORMENTED Kid), and I'll put a warning up in the summary. It's a little off-putting when I get reviews like that.**

**To everyone who's wondering; Tim was 16 in 1993, so it could have been filmed on some sort of filming device (:P) and then transferred to YouTube later on. Thanks to Camry 72 and ny05016sc for giving me the great explanation! I confess, I didn't give much thought to all the technical stuff, it was really just a plot bunny that I had to write down, I didn't think this many people would read it haha.**

**Thanks for reviewing!**

**AND TO ALL THE REST OF YOU! (with positive reviews)**

**Cierra99**

**Shadowdweller25 (love your fics)**

**DS2010**

**HaRRy-POttEr-OBseSseD-2011-O.o**

**Reina 13**

**Lily Anson**

**ny05016sc**

**WinterBreezeDragon010**

**EmmettvsJasper**

**CALLEN37**

**ALLLLLLLL MY GUESTS! (especially the one who wrote the page long review –who was really camry 72 in disguise-! ;P)**

**THANKYOU! Love you all! **

**JJ**

* * *

_Previously:_

_The music eventually trailed off, leaving the bull pen completely silent_

"_What the fuck!" Tim burst out._

"Probie!" Tony exclaimed, jumping up from the desk. "What are… what are you doing here?"

McGee just glared. "I _work _here. What I want to know is what are _you _doing watching _that, _and how did you find it?"

"I… uhh... how did you know it was me?" Tony questioned. Ziva knew he was stalling.

"Because it's _always_ you, Tony." He said, exasperated.

Tony looked down, shame colouring his face. "I didn't- I mean… I didn't _know."_

"Yeah, DiNozzo, and I wanted it to stay that way! But of course, you had to go shove your nose in all my business! You just couldn't leave it alone, could you?" Tim knew he was being a little unfair, after all, Tony _hadn't_ known.

"McGee!" Gibbs barked, speaking for the first time.

"No, he's right." Tony looked up. "I shouldn't have gone through your things. But I just… why didn't you tell us?" He blurted out, almost involuntarily it seemed.

It was obvious to Ziva that this was what had been on Tony's mind since the start.

"I…" McGee trailed off. He didn't know why he never said anything, and he honestly didn't know what he was supposed to tell them.

But, as it turned out, it didn't matter because at that moment they were interrupted with a call of "Agent Gibbs."

The team looked up towards the stairs, where the Director of NCIS, Jenny Shepard (A/N Surprise!) stood. "Your team, my office. Now." Was all she said before she walked back up the stairs towards her office.

-MINIMAL TIME SKIP—

The team, along with Abby, Ducky and Palmer (under Tim's instructions; he really only wanted to have to explain his story once.) sat uncomfortably at the table in the Director's office while said Director -and newcomers- tried to collect themselves, having just watched the video.

"Is this… is this true, McGee?" Jen looked at the man in question.

He knew she was talking about the words behind the song, so he gave a short nod, finally confirming everyone's fears.

"Why haven't I heard about this before?" She demanded.

"Well, Australian news doesn't generally reach America all that often, does it?" He gave a hollow, completely cheerless half-smile.

"I'm talking about the background check everyone is required to have before becoming an NCIS agent, and you know it, McGee." She snapped, clearly not in the mood to be stalled.

Tim shifted guiltily in his seat. "Well…"

"Spit it out, McGee." Gibbs growled, none too happy with his youngest agent.

"Look," Tim sighed, leaning forward so his elbows were on the table. "After everything… happened, Mum was in a pretty bad way. She…" Tim winced. He'd thought he'd come to terms with his past a long time ago, but apparently he thought wrong. "She had to be committed. After that, there was no one to take me in, at least, no one we could get in contact with. My choices were either foster care or emancipation. I chose emancipation. I stayed in Melbourne for a couple years, trying to earn as much money as I could, doing gigs or setting up websites for people, or sometimes taking shifts in a mates bar." Gibbs frowned at that, the kid was 16 at the time, definitely not old enough to be in a bar. Or to be taking care of himself, for that matter.

Apparently Jenny had the same thoughts. "But, you were _16 _Tim." She said gently. "You were just a kid. You shouldn't have had to take care of yourself."

"Well I didn't have much of a choice, did I?" McGee shot back. "I knew that if I went into foster care the chances of a troubled 16 year old going to a nice family were practically non-existent. Besides, I'd been taking care of myself for a long time before that."

Jenny looked down sadly.

"I don't understand." Abby said suddenly. "You were born in America. Why were you in Australia? With an Australian accent? You don't have one_ now._" She pointed out. "And that still doesn't explain why it wasn't in your file."

McGee sighed, running his hands over his face and through his hair.

"Timothy." Ducky said gently, calling attention to him. "Why don't you just explain from the beginning? Starting from your fathers… attack." He hesitated on the word.

"I would, except it didn't start when I was 16. It started when I was 7." Everyone gasped at this.

Ducky leaned forward and placed his hand on McGee's arm. "It's ok lad, just start from where ever you're comfortable. We've got time." He looked at Jen, who nodded in confirmation.

Tim sighed. This was going to be a long conversation.

"Mum was born in Australia. She met Dad in a bar when she was 28. She was traveling with a couple of friends, and he was on extended leave after having just spent almost 3 years on a boat. When her friends went back home, Mum decided to stay. She got a job as a nurse at a local hospital –it's what she did before, in Australia- and eventually they got a house, got married and had me and a few years later, Sarah came along. For the first years of my life everything was fine… happy." Tim spat the word.

No one commented.

"But when I was 7 and Sarah was 1, Mum's Mother fell sick; cancer." Tim explained. "Her husband had died some years before, so she was alone. Mum wanted to be close to her, so in the next couple of weeks we were packed up and on a plane to Melbourne. I was excited; this was the first time I was going to meet her, you see. When we got there Mum started working at the Royal Children's Hospital, and Dad got work as a mechanic. Everything was fine for about a year, and then things seemed to all fall apart at the same time. Nan died and Mum started sinking into depression, and then a few weeks after the funeral Dad lost his job because he punched his boss in the face. He'd been becoming increasingly more frustrated ever since we moved. Over here he was _someone. _An ex-Navy Admiral, and a high ranking one at that. But in Australia, being a retired American Navy Admiral didn't mean much. Without his job, he became frustrated. He started drinking, and then he and Mum started arguing, occasionally, at first, but then all the time. I was 9 the first time I saw him hit her. It was my birthday, and some of my closest friends and I were outside, playing something, I can't remember what it was, but eventually we were interrupted by shouts coming from inside." Tim gulped, closing his eyes for a second.

Tony's Mum had died when he was 8, but before everything had turned to shit, his parents had loved each other, so he didn't know how hard it must have been for Tim, at the tender age of 9, to see his Father strike his Mother, but he knew that despite everything else that seemed to have happened after this, this was something that had scarred Tim the most.

McGee opened his eyes again. Taking a deep breath, he continued his story. "We went to the kitchen window, to see what was going on. I'd heard Mum and Dad arguing late at night, and sometimes in the day, in private, but this was the first time I'd heard this kind of screaming match with people around. We watched them argue for a little while. We couldn't hear what they were saying, just the screams muffled by the window. And then Mum said something that made Dad _really _angry, and his hand shot out so fast I didn't have time to close my eyes. I'd thought it was the first time he'd ever hit her, but I realised later that this was just the first time I'd _saw _him do it, because Mum didn't seem surprised. When he hit her, her head snapped to the side, and she spotted us. She looked at me sadly, but she wasn't shocked. Dad started to turn towards us, so we all ducked down, under the ledge, and ran as fast as we could to a tree, in the back corner of the garden, that we hung out in sometimes. We climbed up and none of us knew what to say, we all just kept looking at each other. Hours passed, and eventually Mum opened the back door and told me that dinner was ready, and it was time for my friends to go home. Before they left I made them promise not to tell anyone. They didn't, but I wish they would have now. It would have saved me a lot of hurt."

McGee let out a strained breath, and Jenny stood up, placing her hand on hand on his shoulder. "I think it's time for a break, do you agree?" She looked around at the other people in the room, who nodded. "Good, we'll meet back here in an hour."

With that, people started to file out of the room, Tim in the lead.

"McGee!" Tony called, but it was too late, he'd already made it to the elevator.

"He just needs time, Tony." Ziva told him. He looked at her sadly.

"I know." He sighed.

**A/N: I know I screwed around with Sarah's age, and some other technical stuff, but I needed to change it to fit the story… I'm not sure what should happen next, so tell me what YOU want to happen, and I'll see what I can do!**

**Constructive criticism is welcome, but please, no needless flames?**


	3. Chapter 3

**OMG! I'm soo sorry for not updating sooner! Schools tarted up again and life has been especially crazy! I'm so so so sorry! I don't know if you could possible forgive me and not abandon this story, but I sincerely hope you can!**

**Anyway, Thankyou to EVERYONE who reviewed, the made my year! Haha**

**Fallenangel218, Eni01, shadowdweller25, torontogirl12, alix33, fanfic freak P, TormentedGirl (LOVE the name :P), essebes, DS2010, lily anson, reina13, HaRRy-POttEr-OBseSseD-2011-O.o (Another thanks for ya ;))**

**AND AS ALWAYS ALLLL MY GUESTS!**

**I've got some heart to heart in here somewhere, added in for reina13… as for the other requests (from 'lily anson' and 'Guest' :P) I will DEFINITELY be putting some inner conflict and thoughts from every individual in the next chapter, after they've hear some more of Timmy's story, and I hope you like it!**

**Oh and songs I listened to writing this (besides the 360 song) - Any Mumford & Sons song, though the most i listened to were probably 'Awake My Soul', 'White Blank Page', 'Timshell', 'Thistle & Weeds', 'After The Storm' and 'Sigh No More'.**

* * *

_Previously:_

"_McGee!" Tony called, but it was too late, he'd already made it to the elevator._

"_He just needs time, Tony." Ziva told him. He looked at her sadly._

"_I know." He sighed._

_-_POV CHANGE-

Tim leaned against the wall of the elevator and breathed a sigh of relief, thankful Tony hadn't come after him. The elevator doors were almost shut when a hand jumped between them and they sprung open. A man stepped in and Tim sighed.

"Gibbs." He greeted.

His Boss gave an almost imperceptible nod in return, waiting until the elevator doors closed before slamming his hand on the emergency stop button. Gibbs turned around to face his youngest agent with raised eyebrows.

Tim, on the other hand, found it impossible to look at his boss's face, and instead talked to the corner of the elevator.

"I'm not going to say sorry." He whispered.

"I wasn't asking you to." Gibbs replied.

"Because I'm not." Tim went on.

"Yeah." Was all Gibbs said.

They stayed like that for a while longer; Gibbs, staring hard at McGee, and Tim resolutely refusing to look up.

Tim decided he'd had enough of the uncomfortable silence and tried to reach around Gibbs for the emergency stop button, but his boss had other ideas.

"I just want to know why."

_Why?_ That was a very open ended question. _Why _didn't he say anything, _why _did he cover it up, _why _had his father started hitting him, _why_ had his mother gone insane, _why was_ _Tim _the one to get this life?_ Why _not someone else?

A very open ended question indeed, though Tim could guess what '_why' _his boss wanted answered.

"I _couldn't_ tell you." He whispered.

"Yeah, I got that, Tim. I asked why."

"Because… Because I just couldn't, ok?" Tim said desperately. The truth was he didn't know why he couldn't. He just knew they couldn't – shouldn't – find out. But it was too late for that, because it was out there now and there was nothing he could do to escape that.

"Tim, look at me." Gibbs demanded, and this time Tim couldn't help but stare back into his boss's hard grey eyes. "I wanna' know why you thought you couldn't trust me."

"I know I can trust you!" Tim exclaimed. "That's not the problem!"

"Then what is the problem?" Gibbs yelled back.

"I didn't _want_ you to know!" McGee exploded. "I didn't want _anybody _to know! It's no one else's business! Everything was going perfectly fine until Tony had to stick his nose where it wasn't wanted! I'm not some fragile child; I was dealing with this fine on my own!"

"But you didn't have to." Gibbs said softly. "You didn't _have _to deal with this on your own. Maybe once upon a time you did, but not anymore. I know you're not a child, McGee, in fact you're one of the most capable people I know, but you don't always have to rely on yourself anymore. You have people now, people who care about you."

Tim blinked. He'd never seen Gibbs like this before -not with _him_. His boss was always like a hardened soldier. The only thing to ever penetrate the protective shield around him had been Kate's death, and when everyone thought Ziva killed. Or so Tim had thought.

"You have people you can trust now."

_Trust._ That seemed to be the magic word to break through to Tim.

Gibbs watched as McGee blinked again and slowly nodded his head.

"Understood." Tim replied brokenly.

Gibbs nodded his head and pulled out the stop button, successfully starting the elevator up again.

-MEANWHILE-

After McGee made his escape, Tony and Ziva decided to head down to Abby's lab, where the Goth had fled as soon as the doors opened. They entered to the sound of music, but not the type they were used to hearing, blasting from her sound system.

**[The following song is 'Hope You Don't Mind' by 360.]**

_Imma get on my sorta emo shit on this one, gonna vent a little. I hope you don't mind.  
Yeah, listen._

They looked up at Abby's screen, only to see a 16 year old Tim singing on a stage.

_I hope you don't mind if I spill my pain  
The longer that I don't is like I'm goin' insane  
Can I let it all out?  
Can I let it all out?_

_See I hope you don't mind if I spill my pain  
The longer that I don't is like I'm goin' insane  
Can I let it all out?  
Can I let it all out?_

Ziva couldn't speak. She knew she shouldn't have been so surprised, and honestly she didn't know why she was, but she couldn't move.

_I wish I had a time machine  
To change the way my mind perceives everythin' my eyes have seen  
And make me look at life through a wider screen  
It ain't what you might believe's happenin' behind the scenes_

As soon as Tony's shock wore off –before Ziva's (why was she so surprised?)-he walked quickly over to Abby.

"What the hell are you doing, Abby?" He said, coming up behind her. She jumped and spun around.

_I treat the beat like an X-ray  
Press play looking inside  
The best way to express pain  
Fucking up is becomin' somethin' I'm used to  
Cos sometimes to find yourself you gotta lose you_

"I-I'm sorry. I had to know." She whispered shakily.

"You had to know what? How tormented Tim's life was?" Tony snapped. "If Tim wanted us to know this crap, he would have told us. This isn't fair to him."

_To those listenin' sorry for bein' emo  
But fuck what the doctor says  
This is what I need though  
Yeah, and so I'm walkin' into that cloud  
Where it has to hurt just to bring you back down_

Abby looked at him in disbelief. "Like you can talk, DiNozzo! You're the reason we're in this mess in the first place!"

Tony flinched. He knew that, _God_ did he know that. But his stupid mistake didn't mean Abby could turn around and do the same thing, especially now they knew (kind of) what was going on, and especially not when Tim was finally trusting them, for what was apperently the first time.

_Almost became addicted to the painkillers  
Cos without that feelin' yo the pain's killer  
You'd think having a near death experience'd  
Make a smart person take their life more serious_

Ziva snapped to attention sharply, and DiNozzo and Abby whirled around to face it; the last few lines catching their attention.

_From nearly dying to feeling so enlightened  
To nearly crying and feeling only frightened  
Releasing this is hard yo' it fuckin' hurts a bit  
It's the only way I know how to come to turns with it  
And this is Tim here I'm givin' you the real me  
I just hope that you can feel me_

And I know you're probably thinkin' I should keep it to myself  
But I can't yo' I need it cos it helps

Tears ran down Abby's face, her make-up long gone; she hated hearing the pain in McGee's voice. Tony was almost the same way. He couldn't even open his mouth to tell Abby to shut down the computer. Ziva still hadn't moved.

_I hope you don't mind if I spill my pain_  
_The longer that I don't is like I'm goin' insane_  
_Can I let it all out?_  
_Can I let it all out?_

_So I hope you don't mind if I spill my pain_  
_The longer that I don't is like I'm goin' insane_  
_Can I let it all out?_  
_Can I let it all out?_

No one breathed. No one moved. Everything was silent, except for Tim's pained voice.

_And with the partyin' I think I need to settle down  
To be real I'm gettin' a little messy now  
A few drinks and stressin' out in another state  
Looking for my own mum to come and get me out  
I've got no idea when I'm coming home  
And all I want is to be left the fuck alone  
I'm only being real the depression comes and goes  
Ignore it cos tonight there is yet another show_

Ziva's eye's pricked, bringing her back to life. She blinked, from shock she told herself, thought it was more to get the tears away.

_Looking in the mirror like what the fuck am I starin' at?  
Not recognisin' the brittle mess that is staring back_

Tony couldn't take it anymore. He turned away from Abby and the screen and dropped to his knees, reaching behind the bench for the power point. He grasped the chord and pulled, ripping out the plug.

_So I'm givin' you the deepest shit you ever hea-_

Tim's voice was cut off, and Abby and Ziva both blinked, looking down at Tony.

"If McGee wants us to know… He'll tell us." He said, holding back tears.

- MINIMAL TIME SKIP-

About 45 minutes later they found themselves back in the Directors office. Tim had spent that very welcome break time preparing himself to tell his team everything they wanted to know, because Gibbs was right, he _wasn't _alone any more, he didn't _need _to grin and bear it like he had almost his entire life. Even so, he knew it would be difficult; he'd never talked to anyone about his childhood, not even his friends at the time.

Abby, Ziva and Tony avoided each other's gaze, guiltily trying not to think about the song they had heard during the brake. After Tony had pulled the plug, they'd all went their separate ways, until it was time to meet everyone back in the Directors office.

"Tim." Jenny said softly. "Before we start, I just want to know… How much of that song was true? How much really happened?"

"Everything." Tim replied thickly. "It's all true, it all happened."

Abby gasped, tears in her eyes. "He really tried to… kill you?"

McGee didn't even wince, instead he just replied, "Yes."

"Timothy," Ducky said. "What happened after your 9th birthday party?" He was anxious to get the hard things over with, so they could begin helping the young agent heal.

McGee cleared his throat. "Dad figured out pretty quick that I knew what was really going on; I started flinching whenever he raised his hands or yelled, and I wouldn't let him touch me anymore. He wasn't even allowed near Sarah, not when I could do something about it anyway. After a month of me keeping him away from me and Sarah, and him trying to pretend everything was the same, he decided that he was sick of keeping up any and all pretences. It was the day Sarah accidently spilt Dad's vodka bottle. He'd just bought it and forgot to put the lid on. Sarah was at the stage where she ran everywhere she went, and didn't see the bottle on the coffee table when she bumbed into it. He found it, and Sarah was nearby, so he started yelling at her. She…" Tim pulled in a shaky breath. "She got scared. She didn't know what she was saying."

"She said it was you?" Gibbs guessed. He was aware of how siblings acted, but he was also aware that Sarah didn't know what the consequences of her actions would be.

"Yeah." Tim breathed out.

If he'd looked up he would have Tony's conflicted face. He wanted to be angry about Sarah's actions, but knew that at the time she was just a toddler. She didn't know any better. Never the less, he reached out a hand and squeezed Tim's arm, hoping to offer some comfort.

Tim took another steadying breath, thankful for the supporting hand on his arm. He knew this would be hard, and it was about time the truth came out.

"He asked me if it was true, if I'd really spilt it. I'd seen what Dad did to Mum, and I knew he'd hurt Sarah too, if I'd said no. So I didn't. I didn't say anything, just nodded my head. I was too scared, and I knew that if I opened my mouth to speak, I might have lost my nerve and told him the truth. I couldn't risk it… That was the first time Dad hit me. First time of many." Tim laughed breathlessly. There was absolutely no humour in it, just nervousness, and the others could tell.

"It didn't just go downhill from there; it went of the bloody cliff. Now that he'd started he wasn't going to stop, especially because I didn't make any fuss about it; I was too scared he'd turn on Sarah if I tried to retaliate. So it just kept going from there, getting worse as I got older. Eventually… well, you heard the song. He just went too far one day, and Mum snapped."

Tim finally looked up from the table, so for the first time the team saw the tears that had gathered in his blue-green eyes.

"She was never the same after that. There were days when she wouldn't get out of bed at all, not even to go to the bathroom. I don't know how many times I had to change the sheets."

Jimmy hadn't said much about this whole thing, but he felt his heart twinge painfully for his friend. He honestly couldn't imagine that; being the parent, instead of the child. He didn't think he could ever really know how hard that must have been for Tim.

"I could only handle it for so long. I picked up work where I could, mostly in bars and stuff, either with gigs or just working behind the bar. Sometimes it was setting up websites for small businesses. I did it for as long as I could, but with Mum _and _Sarah, it was just too hard." Here Tim stopped for a moment, closing his eyes and taking a deep breath in. In that moment Tony thought he looked about 10 years older than he should.

Tim breathed and nodded minutely, resolute to keep going, before continuing. "I'd always tried really hard in school, because I knew I'd need to get a scholarship. I applied to almost every University I'd ever heard of, even ones in other countries. By the time my acceptance letters came I was almost at my breaking point, so when I got an acceptance to a college _here, _in _America_, I jumped at the chance to get as far away as I could. By then I knew I couldn't help Mum; she needed professionals. I couldn't take her over here with me so I found the best mental care facility I could afford with the money in her account –which I hadn't touched since Dad died- and packed Sarah up and left. When we got over here I got into contact with Dad's sister, Emmaline, and her husband. She had kids around Sarah's age and younger, so I didn't think she'd mind. Sarah went to live with them. They hadn't, of course, known about Mum's condition, and offered a place for me to stay too, but I couldn't accept it. I knew they didn't really want me there. But there was still hope for Sarah to become a fine woman, fit for society. Or something like that." Tim smirked a little bit, some of his rebel 16 year old self slipping back into his expression.

"Surely they didn't tell you that? They're your Aunt and Uncle!" Ducky said.

"No, of course not. They'd never say something like that outright. They were pretty into appearances and stuff, and I was 'too far gone'." Tim saw some furrowed eyebrows and explained; "They're words not mine. I stayed there for a few weeks because I hadn't found an apartment or any other place to stay yet. I heard them talking one night. I thought it was fairly funny; they were scared I was going to ask to stay." Tim chuckled.

Jenny didn't find that very funny. McGee had gone his whole life with no support, and had then had the job of keeping the roof over his family's heads, only to be turned away by the people who should have helped him. Jen had always known that they'd only scratched the surface of McGee's potential but she was just now seeing how strong he already was. How strong he'd _always_ been. She was glad NCIS hadn't let someone like that slip through the cracks, and was proud for him to be one of her Agents.

Then she frowned. "So you found a place to live, and went to school, and graduated with some extremely impressive marks from what I've seen in your file. You then wound up at Norfolk, and eventually NCIS. But none of _this _was in your file. It said your father was dead, and you'd gotten a full ride through college, but nothing about your mother, or about you living in Australia. For all intents and purposes you grew up in a normal, American home, in a small town not too far from here."

Tim cringed sheepishly. This wasn't going to be fun.

**-UNDER THE A/N-**

A/N: Ok, so there's no acceptable explanation or excuse for my absence, and I'm SO sorry for not updating for so long. To be honest I'm still not very happy with this chapter, but I thought I should give you an extra long one, so that maybe you could forgive me... If I've gotten any facts wrong about anything; e.g. about the University scholarship stuff, just ignore them and pretend they're right haha, I have no idea how that stuff works yet… Anyway, tell me if you liked it, please review! And tell me what you'd like to see in the next chapter!

_**This next part is written exclusively for shadowdweller25 (although it's for everyone else to :P), as a preview to the next chapter. Or maybe the one after that... I'm not sure yet, there might only be one more chapter… anyway I'm rambling, on to the story!**_

"_Timmy?" Abby whispered._

_Tim looked up. "Yeah, Abs?"_

"_You still haven't answered my first question."_

_Tim blinked, confusion breaking through for a moment. "What question was that?"_

"_Why don't you have an Australian accent?" She asked._

_Startled laughter bubble it's way to Tim's lips. And he shook his head smiling slightly. "I don't know… People asked too many questions when I had an accent, about where I was from… Those kinds of conversation get people curious, and I knew curiosity could lead to the actual truth. I couldn't afford that. So I just adopted an American accent, and now I don't even notice it. I guess I just got used to it."_

_The team fell into silence once more, before it was interrupted again._

"_Timmy?" Abby whispered for the second time._

_Tim sighed a little, slightly amused. "Yeah, Abs?" he asked in the same tone as before._

_She hesitated for a moment. "I like Australian accents." She stated._

_Tim laughed outright at that, as did Tony. Gibbs and Ziva smiled. Maybe they really _would _be OK._

_And maybe he _would_ like having an Australian accent again._

"_I like Australian accents too, _Timmy_." Tony winked at him._

_Or maybe not._

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**So there we go! Just a little preview, in case I'm evil again and don't update for a few weeks, there's a little of what would probably be the last chapter… I hoped you liked everything! LOL (Lots Of Love) JJx!**


	4. Chapter 4

**Hey guys, yeah I know, I'm a TERRIBLE author, and this extremely short chapter sooo does NOT make up for it. There's not really anything I can say that can justify me being negligent of my story, except that maybe my muse ran off with a leprechaun or something… Anyway, I'm so sorry for not updating, and I hope you like this chapter. It's not very long, because I just really needed to put something up, and not sure how great it is, but hopefully it's ok. Enjoy! (If I've still got actual readers after my long absence.)**

**Oh and thank you to all the people who reviewed the last chapter! And yes AyreO.o It's great to know who I'm making blush :P**

**And also, a MASSIVE shout-out to lily anson for PMing me. I'm terribly sorry, and don't worry, I am going to finish this, or at least try my hardest to do so. I refuse to put this story on hiatus or the like.**

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_Previously:_

"_But none of __this __was in your file. It said your father was dead, and you'd gotten a full ride through college, but nothing about your mother, or about you living in Australia. For all intents and purposes you grew up in a normal, American home, in a small town not too far from here."_

_Tim cringed sheepishly. This wasn't going to be fun._

Timothy McGee was in trouble. He knew it.

"I… I didn't have a choice." Tim whispered, staring at the table top.

"Timothy?" Ducky questioned when the young Agent didn't say anything more.

Gibbs' eyes narrowed. "Mcgee-"

"You have to understand." Tim interrupted. "I needed to move on with my life, to have some semblance of happiness. I needed…"

"To forget." Gibbs said. "You needed to forget."

"I needed to forget." Tim nodded. "And I couldn't… it was like it was stuck to me. I couldn't just stop remembering, and I couldn't keep others from finding out either. I couldn't get accepted into College's, and Director Shepherd," Tim turned towards the woman. "You can't tell me that you -or any director- would have accepted me as an Agent if you'd known about the things I just told you- because it's not just a black mark on my record, it's a giant, sucking abyss that can't be ignored and can't be covered. It had to be… removed."

Jen pursed her lips. "So that's what you did then- removed it?"

Tim swallowed, closed his eyes, and nodded. He was _so_ fired.

"No he didn't." McGee's eyes snapped open and he looked at his Boss. Gibbs however, was looking coolly at the Director, who raised her eyebrows in question. "He didn't remove anything because there was nothing to remove. Timothy McGee had a mundane, apple pie life in Maryland. He graduated top of his class from high school, and the same with MIT. He then became an NCIS Agent, and has since helped his team close a record breaking number of cases. That's who he's been for years, that's who he was yesterday, and that's who he is now. Whatever was said in this room means nothing, because it changes _nothing_. And that's it."

Gibbs got up, walked to the door, and left. The remaining people glanced at each other in surprise before looking at the Director, waiting with baited breathe for her response.

If what Gibbs had just done surprised them, what Jen did now shocked them to their core.

The red-head coolly sat down at her desk, picket up a pen and started writing. No one said anything for a few moments before she looked up and raised one eyebrow. "Well? Don't you all have paperwork to do?"

They hastily nodded, jumping up from their seats and rushing out the door, except for Dr. Mallard, who lingered at the Directors desk.

"What are you up to Director?" The ME asked with a small, mischievous smile. "It's not at all like you to fold to Jethro's demands this quickly or to be this compliant whilst doing it..."

"Well, this time Gibbs was right. It doesn't change anything." Jen replied. "Is that all Dr. Mallard?"

Ducky just smiled. "Director," He nodded his head, before walking out of the door also.

**A/N: Still here? I hope so. The next chapter is gunna have a few warm fuzzies between the team and Tim, and (SPOILER ALERT!) all Timmy's history and records might just find their way to the permanent dumpster, never to be seen again. Or, at least, they'd come back with some work done and be completely different. Cookies and shout outs to the person or peoples who guess the correct character.**

**Hoped you like, please review? Flames will be snuffed out immediately, unless they are constructive and good natured, fixing up mistakes I've made: ei I'm not exactly sure Tim's from Maryland, it was really just and (un)educated guess.**

**JJx**


	5. Chapter 5

**So, finally, the last chapter! You all must have been thinking, "JJ, what's the big idea? How could you just leave us hanging like that?" Well I'm happy to say you shall not be hanging anymore! I hope this chapter is good enough for you all, and thank you to everyone who reviewed in the last chapter, and let me know you were still reading!**

**torontogirl12, lily anson, xxxcrybabyxxx11, Little biddy, reina13, starjems88, essebes, alix33, Do I read too much (probably ;P) and Midnight1906 (you're review was very original. I can honestly say I've never had one like that before haha). Thankyou guys so much for being my stand-in muse and inspiring me to write another chapter!**

**Anyway, on with the story!**

* * *

_Previously:_

"_What are you up to, Director?" The ME asked with a small, mischievous smile. "It's not at all like you to fold to Jethro's demands this quickly or to be this compliant whilst doing it..."_

"_Well, this time Gibbs was right. It doesn't change anything." Jen replied. "Is that all, Dr. Mallard?"_

_Ducky just smiled. "Director." He nodded his head, before walking out of the door also._

_-_FOLLOWING TIM NOW-

After they all left the Directors office Tim headed to the break room, intent on making a strong (if not slightly disgusting) coffee. When he got there he started up the machine, selected his preferred ingredients, and waited for it to be made. While he was waiting the door opened and Tim tensed his shoulders, waiting for Tony to speak.

"Gibbs was right, you know." Tim whirled around in surprise, facing the speaker.

"The things that happened in your past does not change the way we feel about you now." Ziva continued. "But it does change our understanding of you."

Tim closed his eyes and sighed.

"You have always been strong and capable, and one of the best agents I've ever met. But now we know just how strong you can really be… We know how strong you've _had _to be. And I am not talking about what you went through with your father."

Tim's eyes flew open. He was once again shocked by Ziva.

"I know, of course, that dealing with your father for so many years must have been hard, but I am speaking about afterwards, when you had to take care of your mother and sister by yourself, when you made the decision to move to America… and the kind of strength it must have taken to be on this team and never say a word of your sufferings."

"Ziva…" McGee trailed off.

"I am not looking for apologies." The Israeli stated.

"I wasn't giving one." Tim said back.

Ziva nodded and then smiled. "I'm glad that you trusted us with this information Tim."

"Me too." McGee nodded back.

"I'll leave you now. If I am not mistaken Tony is scratching at the chance to speak to you."

McGee thought about telling her it was 'itching' and not 'scratching' but instead just shook his head in amusement and let her leave.

Sure enough, Tony entered almost before the door had a chance to click shut, pulling up short when he found Tim looking at him with an eyebrow raised.

"Oh. Hey, McGee." He strolled over to the coffee machine, picked up Tim's now made coffee, and handed it to him before pressing some more buttons to make himself one. Tim guessed he was trying to look casual.

"Tony-"

"I'm sorry!" DiNozzo blurted out.

"What?" Tim's eyebrows furrowed.

"For going through your stuff!" Tony explained. "I didn't mean to- ok that's a lie, I _did _mean to- but I didn't _know_- well, how could I? You never told me. But that doesn't excuse what I… I'm just… You know?" He finished lamely.

Tim fought a smile from presenting itself on his face and nodded. "Yeah Tony, I know. It's ok. _We're _ok. I don't blame you for anything. I'm actually glad everything was brought out in the open now… as long as everyone keeps treating me the same way they have been since I was brought onto Gibbs' team."

"Oh. Oh. Yeah, I can… I do that." Tony cleared his throat and slapped Tim's shoulder. "Good talk, McGoo."

And with that, Tony left.

Tim stayed there for a few more minutes, sipping his coffee. He thought about the conversations he'd had with his team and decided that yes, he really was ok with them knowing about his past.

Throwing his empty coffee cup away he decided he was ok enough to go back to the bullpen now. He walked to the door and hesitated for only a second before taking a deep breath and pushing it open. Tim calmly walked back to his team, who were sitting at their desks, and noticed Abby standing next to his desk, practically vibrating on the spot. She spotted him and took a step forward, before looking at Gibbs. She waited until he gave a nod, a small almost imperceptible nod, and then nearly flew across the space between her and Tim and flung her arms around his neck, holding on so tight she was almost strangling him.

When she finally let go he looked down, waiting to hear what he expected to be a long lecture about trust and family.

"_Timmy?" Abby whispered._

_Tim looked up. "Yeah, Abs?"_

"_You still haven't answered my first question."_

_Tim blinked, confusion breaking through for a moment. "What question was that?"_

"_Why don't you have an Australian accent?" She asked._

_Startled laughter bubble its way to Tim's lips. And he shook his head smiling slightly. "I don't know… People asked too many questions when I had an accent, about where I was from… Those kinds of conversation get people curious, and I knew curiosity could lead to the actual truth. I couldn't afford that. So I just adopted an American accent, and now I don't even notice it. I guess I just got used to it."_

_They fell into silence once more, before it was interrupted again._

"_Timmy?" Abby whispered for the second time._

_Tim sighed a little, slightly amused. "Yeah, Abs?" he asked in the same tone as before._

_She hesitated for a moment. "I like Australian accents." She stated._

_Tim laughed outright at that, as did Tony. Gibbs and Ziva smiled. Maybe they really _would _be OK._

_And maybe he _would_ like having an Australian accent again._

"_I like Australian accents too, __Timmy__." Tony winked at him._

_Or maybe not._

-TIME SKIP- SOME HOURS LATER- HOME TIME—

Tim glanced down at Tony, who was shutting down his computer.

"It wasn't all bad, you know. Some of it… Some of it was amazing. Fun. And sometimes it was… unbelievably rude." Tony looked up at him in disbelief.

Tim smirked and turned away, ready to go home now. Just before entering the elevator, which already held one passenger, he called out. "Listen to Shutterbug sometime!"

As the doors closed Tim tensed, waiting the whole way down for his Boss to once more stop the elevator, but instead all he got was a nod and a small, approving smile. The young Probie felt warmth spread through his chest and twisted his mouth to stop it forming into a full-blown grin. The doors opened once more and they both got out, Tim heading for his car and Gibbs walking in the other direction to his own.

Tony looked down at his computer and impatiently started it up. 5 minutes later there was a shocked cry of "Timothy McGee!" and somewhere else on the base Tim smirked while getting into his car. Everything was going to be ok.

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**A/N: SOOOOO? What did you think? I hope this was a good end to the story! My muse is apparently still on her vacation with her Australian Leprechaun (Thankyou Alix33) but I knew I had to out you all out of your misery and end this story, it simply wasn't fair for me to keep you in all this suspense! Let me know any mistakes I may have made, but as always any unnecessary flames will be snuffed and the ashes shall be spread in a place of my choosing. :)**

**Also, the thing with the coffee maker… I don't know if that's the one they have in their break room (or if they even have a break room) but I see the automatic coffee machines everywhere, so I just stuck that one there… really if it's wrong just ignore it.**

**Please review and let me know what you thought! Thank you to all my faithful readers for hanging in this long! Love you all so much!**

**Love, JJx**


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